Time for a surprise quiz! You think you know a thing or two about ball? And old ball? After this 10-question quiz about old NFL team logos, you’ll soon find out.

This idea came to me in the stats lab while sourcing data for the NFL season, making heavy use of my favorite website – Profootball Reference. I can’t wait to spend the third year in a row putting my fingers to the keyboard every week of the season to find the saddest and often most obscure statistics to help sad fans laugh at their crappy teams instead of crying. And this year I’ve collected so much more data than before to help fill this much-needed gap in the sports content market. Every single chart and piece of relevant information present on every game page in NFL history is neatly tucked away, waiting to be interrogated.

I noticed some hilarious old team logos on the old PFR game pages. It’s incredible to think that our grandfathers and great-grandfathers probably thought these were totally awesome. Let’s see how many logos you can guess correctly out of ten. Note: These are all active franchises. We’re sticking with the 101 course here. I’ll save the Oorang Indians and Dayton Triangles for a later surprise quiz at 401 level.

Now everyone judges for themselves. Let me know how you do. Boy Scouts’ word of honor. The answers are written backwards in tiny font for those (like me) whose brains just can’t keep from looking directly at them. We’ll start with some softballs and move on to some more softballs that lend themselves to some jokes. But we’ll finish with some hardballs.

Grab your pencils.

Logo No. 1:

Answer: sraeb ogacihc

I got this from the 1940 team. What have we done here, George Halas? This bear looks like he’s about to fall out of a tree and land. Look at the feet with the crooked toes and the weird arm position. He looks like Mike Pantazis – the Bears fan from the ’90s who jumped out of the stands over the tunnel to catch the ball being kicked for an extra point. And what’s with the face? Like he knows he’s about to land and it’s not going to feel good and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Logo No. 2:

Answer: snoil tiorted

Whoever drew this logo was obviously misinformed about how big lions actually are. Probably the same guy who drew all those old world maps with Africa smaller than the USA that we were taught in elementary school. Also, can we all chip in to buy this poor lion a meal? Buddy hasn’t eaten in weeks. Not exactly the most intimidating lion photo I’ve ever seen. This thing would have its hands full in a fight to the death with a ROUS from The Princess Bride. Probably just a favorite at -115.

One last thing. Is the guy supposed to be riding the anorexic lion? I don’t get it. I think from the viewer’s perspective he might just be running after the lion and waiting for it to form a block. Opinions welcome.

Logo No. 3:

Answer: snworb dnalevelc

I think what we’re learning here is that the NFL logos in the ’40s and ’50s were so bad that you literally had to stick a football in them for anyone to know what was going on. We all know Brownie, the elf that was on the Browns’ football field last season.

Logo No. 4

Answer: stloc eromitlab

Back to football. There ALWAYS has to be a football. And can someone explain to me what’s going on? At first I thought the Colt was holding the ball to kick it himself, but the head snapping down, which momentarily lifted the helmet, isn’t actually a move a Colt would normally make when kicking a football he’s holding. Instead, I think he caught a ball when he jumped in the air and jumped too far and had to duck his head to catch it. I have no idea how he would have landed without having to make a trip to the glue factory the next day, though.

Logo No. 5

Answer: sreenaccub yab apmat

I know this has all been pretty basic so far, but hopefully we still enjoy it. The Creamsicle Buccaneer is a cult classic in the NFL logo department that doesn’t get used enough as a retro alternative. Maybe there are young Gen Z’ers out there who don’t know that this logo is the face of a franchise that started 0-26. The original “Orange Man Bad.” Maybe they would have been a better team if the logo had a football.

Logo No. 6

Answer: sllib olaffub

I can honestly say that this is the saddest picture of a buffalo I have ever seen. Look at him. He is standing there all alone, staring down with his tail hanging. There is nothing in his soulless eyes. You can literally stare right through them. He has nothing to do. He has no friends. And no females vying for his attention. And I think we can all see why. This poor guy is hung like a hamster.

OK, the warm-up is over. Let’s get to some that might be really challenging.

Logo No. 7

Answer: stnaig kroy wen

I almost missed the obvious reference to a guy so huge he takes up the entire stadium due to the aforementioned logo proportion issues, but add in the fact that it’s blue and that should be enough to find the answer.

Logo No. 8

Answer: sreleets hgrubsttip

See how much happier logos look with a football? Can we land a bison? Just look at Mario kicking field goals on a steel beam wearing the hat Indiana Jones’ father wore in the Last Crusade. I know that’s supposed to be a hard hat, but be honest. That’s a fedora.

Still perfect? ​​8/8? Well, what do you say?

Logo No. 9

Answer: sreleets hgrubsttip

That’s a little trick to turn right back around. But kudos to whoever knew that, because I certainly would never have guessed. I didn’t do any further research to explain what was going on here, but the 1940 Steelers really did seem to support their men in blue. Do you have to imagine that the three emblems represent the three rivers? But what about the castle? You know they’re all made of stone, right? I think that really confused me.

Logo No. 10

Answer: sre94 ocsicnarf nas

The best is for last. Simply a logo for all time and, if I’m being honest, the reason I had the idea to do this blog in the first place. Now don’t lie – you guessed cowboys, although you couldn’t figure out why the crazy gunslinger was wearing red. But this guy is incredible. Who do I need to contact to get him painted on center field in Santa Clara? I don’t mind if they don’t want to show the gun for PC reasons. If you airbrush it away, it will look like this guy just got swept off his feet after blowing the world’s biggest fart. Remember Horace and Jasper from 101 Dalmatians? You can’t tell me this guy isn’t their other brother who wasn’t smart enough to join their crime gang who was outsmarted by a stray cat.

The best thing about this logo is that it’s probably a pretty accurate depiction of prospectors during the Gold Rush. Very few actually found anything and the rest were pissed off and shooting their guns and drinking a bottle of liquor, which I’m guessing is what he’s holding in his left hand. And as for his choice of pants? I have no answers for that. Zero.

OK. Surprise test over. How did you do? Remember. Just like school. It’s not about what you learn. It’s about the laughs you get.

@Stathole